By Nick Howard, Psy.D. 

The Art of Kintsugi

Kintsugi can seem odd at first, right?  Why would someone bother spending countless hours repairing something like an ordinary bowl, that's broken in so many places? Isn't the bowl worthless now, that it's shattered in so many ways? On top of that, why would someone use gold, the most precious metal, to serve as the primary agent in restoring an ordinary bowl? The whole thing doesn't make sense, at least initially, from the vantage point of the time or precious metals invested.  

But then, on a deeper level, when you really look at a bowl that's been restored through the art of Kintsugi, you can't help but admit that it's undeniably striking. First, the hours invested in carefully restoring an ordinary bowl undeniably gives the bowl greater worth, but then the use of gold, that is used even more generously where the brokenness was the greatest, gives the bowl breathtaking beauty, and vastly greater worth. Further, since each bowl breaks in unique ways, no two restorations are the same.  What emerges from kintsugi is a one of a kind piece of art that inspires us through the beauty and wonder of a masterful restoration. 

The parallels with God’s restorative work in our lives, and in particular through skillful Christian counseling, are genuinely profound.  

God’s Heart Towards Us and Our Restoration

Through the lens of Kintsugi, for us as a Christian practice composed of Christian practitioners, the God of the Bible is simply stunning. The Bible and the message of Christianity is all about restoration, about bringing healing and growth, and even flourishing, to those who have been shattered by a broken and sinful world. God, over and over again, enters into our brokenness, into our lives shattered by sin and disorder and trauma, and we can find courage, wisdom and support in Him and through others who know Him well to do what is needed to eventually experience the wonder of lasting restoration in Him. I’ve seen this over and over in my life, personally and professionally, directly and indirectly, over the past 30 years. 

To understand more deeply the breadth and depth of God’s massive love for our restoration, in the Book of Genesis, when Adam and Eve were tempted and deceived by the liar of liars, and fell into imperfection, into ugly, nasty sin, guilt, shame, and fear, God could have easily decided at that point that it just wasn't worth continuing with the whole human experiment.  After all, since he spoke creation into existence, couldn't he, in a heartbeat, just start over again with a whole new universe?  Why waste the time, and then on top of that, why would he ultimately sacrifice his one and only perfect son Jesus, his most precious “possession,”  if you will, for us, a motley crew of broken, guilty, shame-ridden sinners to be restored?  Unless of course His goodness is beyond our comprehension. Unless His love is absolutely massive in its breadth and depth.  Unless some things are so good they are true. And, amazingly, that is what is really real.

God somehow sees our worth and potential beauty in ways that are so hard for us to see, mired in our own messes. He sees our brokenness and His amazingly good heart reflexively pulls him towards possibilities for our restoration. He sees our losses and brokenness and masterfully envisions beauty emerging from it. 

By His grace, as we slowly and imperfectly grow in obedience, and over time, let ourselves be more vulnerable with Him, and invite Him more deeply into our brokenness, shame and losses, He is gradually picking up the pieces of our shattered souls, and somehow, amazingly, can turn our “shame into praise and renown in. all the earth” (Zeph. 3:19).  The places of our greatest pain, where we are broken the most, are the places where His golden glory is revealed the most. God truly is the Ultimate Kintsugi Artist.  He is the Ultimate Restorer. 

Our Supportive Role

Inspired by God’s heart and seeking to follow His ways, at Restoration, we endeavor to be used by God as humble instruments in a support role to help restore what has been broken. We strive to see great worth in each of our clients, and invest the best of our skill, wisdom and compassion, to cooperate with God in gradually bringing beauty out of brokenness. Our main tools are listening and empathizing, and following the Lord’s lead in sharing with each client what we believe is most helpful at the time, whether that is an affirming word, an insight or a challenge. We commit to entering your worlds as well as we can, including going to your darkest places with the love and grace of God, to help turn your struggles and losses into beauty and glory. 

Your Potential Role as a Client

Well, like anything worth having, experiencing restoration, experiencing lasting healing and true flourishing, the counseling process asks you at times to do challenging things. In the metaphor of Kintsugi, the overall client task is to share, at your pace, where your bowl has been broken. This essentially means talking about your predominant symptoms, whether those might be anxiety or depression or a loss, and gradually moving over time towards where the greatest brokenness has taken place. This can at times require asking the Lord for the courage to go to the places where it seems that shame and guilt have declared a permanent victory, but with the Lord's strength and mighty power, (Eph. 1:18-20) we know he came to set you free (Luke 4:18), and that he is faithful in going with you to hard places to slowly bring greater healing and freedom to your soul (Gal. 5:1). Your therapist will always endeavor to go at your pace. Again, you are in charge of what you share and when you will share it. That is a sacred pledge we make to you. Lastly, healing often takes longer than any of us would like, so there will be times you will need to persevere in the work that is undeniably hard at times (Romans 5:3-5), and believe that somehow healing is possible, that the shattered pieces of your soul can slowly be put back together again, and yes, can eventually be even more beautiful than ever.  Of course, we will only be completely restored on the other side, but we know that lasting healing and freedom is much more possible than most would ever imagine.  Every one of us can experience this, especially with the Lord’s help, including you. I promise. I have seen it over and over, and it is beautiful and glorious to behold.  

Working Together

Should you embark on the counseling journey, as you and your therapist slowly build a healthy therapeutic relationship, and as you each fulfill your respective roles, slowly, over time, the "bowl of your soul" is slowly put back together. God's love, which is partially conveyed through your therapist, begins to fill in His golden love and goodness in where shame and fear once held sway.  Again, at times patience and courage are required to persevere in the healing work, and yet, time and time again, as both the counselor and the client work to surrender to the Ultimate Artist’s work on each healing journey, restoration does happen. Hope replaces fear.  Joy usurps depression.  Goodness overcomes shame. 

Wrapping Up

God longs for each of His children to experience the joy of lasting restoration. Beginning in Genesis, tangibly demonstrated in the Gospels through sending His Son to live and die for our forgiveness and restoration, and culminating in our complete healing in heaven, God's heart beats deeply with a longing and commitment to our healing, growing, and flourishing in Him.  As our Restoration plant logo works to convey, with Kintsugi art in its leaves, we see His glory being made manifest in each of our lives, where his golden glory radiates His transforming love where shame used to hold sway.  

May God grant each of us the grace to cooperate with his healing work in all the lives of those we serve at Restoration Christian Counseling.